A Page Out of Donkey's Book

In the morning... I'm Making Waffles!

Every Sunday morning, the Bear and I make waffles.

The bear assists me as pictured by helping me put ingredients into the bowl. He has to put a pinch of "magic powder" into the mix to make it tasty. (Magic powder is none other than plain old Morton salt. :) )

I mix it all together, then he stirs and stirs with his spoon. He is under the impression that the longer he stirs, the more waffles there will be.

I found a fantastic waffle recipe* on the internet, but alas, even though it found great favor amongst the tribe, I was compelled to improve upon it.

I tossed in a few new ingredients, mixed it up in the blender, crossed my fingers, toes, and eyeballs, and presented DramaMama with the first from the Mickey Mouse waffle iron. I cringed as fork traveled from plate to mouth.

My heartbeat quickened as she began to chew.

The suspense grew until.....

"That is SOOOOO good!"

Apparently the Mad scientific experiment was a success and Weezilsteins monster was in reality a tasty treat.



* Recipe available upon request.

It doesn't take a genius...

Sorry I hacked into your site honey!

It's true though!

Love,

Drama mama

Delivering a new post

DramaMama says she has been yearning for a new post, so being the dutiful husband that I am, I delivered.

This is an artists rendition of of DramaMama standing next to it.

Luv ya Honey! ;)

Long Long Ago, on a Freeway Far Far Away...

The Bug became quite a little Star Wars fan when they released the reworked versions of the trilogy in theaters.

He especially liked Darth Vader, and loved to watch him fight with the "Life Savers" (Light Sabers).

One day as we were passing the state prison, he piped up and said, "That's were the bad guys live".

I explained that the policemen catch bad guys and put them in prison so they cant hurt us.

The Bug replied, "They're Darth Vaders, huh!"

Modern Day Michaelangelo

As I pulled into the driveway, my mind immediately waxed artistic and said, "Today, I create my masterpiece."

I took Mallet and Chisel in hand, and lovingly began removing the excess that was covering the magnificent work of art waiting to emerge.

Slowly the granduer of my skill began to show through. "It's marvelous," I said to myself. "Truly a thing of beauty!"

"Daddy, you made a puddle."

"Shhhh... Daddy's in the zone." Noone appreciates a genius at work.
One more stroke... oh, okay, forty seven more strokes and it is finished... my crowning achievment.

I sculpted a freezer out of a block of ice.

P.S.
Visit DramaMama's blog to see what REALLY happened.

How to Get Out of a Ticket (From a Kid's Perspective)

As the Bug was growing up, I did my best to get him to see the Police and Firemen in a positive light and I would point them out whenever I saw them. Whenever we passed the fire station, he would yell, "FIRE STATION!" And we would always look to see the big trucks inside.

"The firemen help people with bad owies and put out the fires."

"When ever we see a policeman with his lights flashing, somebody crashed". I would remind him that policemen also stop people that are going too fast so they don't hurt someone.

Another time, I caught myself driving a little too fast, so I told the Bug that I needed to slow down so the policeman didn't make us stop and give us a ticket.

The Bug said, "We could drive really fast and get away!".

I explained that we would get in even worse trouble if we did that.

Then he said, "We could PUNCH 'em!".

The Sword in the Sorcerer's Stone

As I mentioned in a previous blog, my family took a 3 day vacation to Disneyland in March. Our 14 year old was playing with his school band, and we decided to take the Bear and go as well.

He had a wonderful time, and we thoroughly enjoyed our time there with him. He loved the "It's a Small World" ride. We went on it 5 times.

DramaMama and I got a kick out of the Bear when he went to see Merlin.

"Look, Daddy, it's Dumbledore!"

The Things Kids Endure at the Hands of Their Older Siblings

He Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea

I spent the morning writing at my "black" computer, while the Bear sat at my side playing his "Little Critter" game on the "white" computer.

"Whatcha doin' Daddy?"

"Daddy's writing a story."

"What about?"

"Its about a couple of boys."

"Is it me and Jamesie?" (His older brother aka the Bug.)

"No, its a boy named Patrick, and a boy named Smudge."

"Who's Patrick?"

"Just a boy Daddy made up."

"Patrick like on Sponge Bob?"

Family Photo Outtakes

Doesn't even need a caption

Introducing Bible Outtakes

Years ago my twisted little brain started sending me cartoons like the one below. I would be sitting there minding my own business when BAP! there was a silly idea in my head.

The first time this happened, my brother and I were in church, in Sunday school. The teacher was droning on about salt... It was similar to the scene in Ferris Buehler where the kid drools all over the desk.

So we were sort of listening, and doodling on a piece of paper when BLAPPO! there was a cartoon idea in my head. I wanted to put it in here, but can't put my hands on it. Rats!

So.... I will introduce another one. Should be self-explanatory to the Christian crowd:

Copyright (c) 2005 David R Hanks. All Rights Reserved

Daddy's place

On Friday's, DramaMama and the Bear come to pick me up at work and we go out for lunch. We end of up at the buffet more often than not.

The Bear says, "I wanna go to Daddy's place and get waterlemon." (That's how he says it.)

Translated: "Dear mother and father I truly desire that I would be driven to the establishment known as the Old Country Buffet so that I might dine on pieces of the succulent flesh of the most delectible appetizer we call waterlemon."

So we take him to the buffet. He likes canteloupe too, and usually ends up with watermelon, canteloupe, and a couple other things that dont get touched. He will eat raisins or grapes though. So anyway, DramaMama asked him if he would like some Honeydew Melon.

He asked what that was. She showed him.

"No, I dont want green canteloupe, that don't be tasty."

Compassion for the fallen

The other day Donald Rumsfeld briefed President George W. Bush on recent casualty figures in the Iraqi conflict.

"Mr. President, I'm sorry to announce that three Brazilian soldiers have fallen in battle."

President Bush hung his head, and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Donald," he said, "How many men are in a brazillion?"