You Make the Call

My Niece's Wedding, Golf and Goofiness

Yesterday, my niece got married. In the morning all the men went on a golf outing at the Royal Palms golf course here in Mesa. Each hole had its own competition, and we all had to toss $1 into the pot for each of them.

The first hole had a small pond or a really big puddle, whichever... so the first competition was biggest splash in the pond. The golf course donated the golf balls for that one. Now picture this... I stand atop the tee box (on a hill mind you) and take a mighty swing with my pitching wedge. The ball didn't so much fly as roll. It went down the hill and out of sight near the water's edge. It is questionable if it even got wet. I didn't win the competition.

After that we played the hole. If you recall my golf post for last year, I am no Bobcat Woods or whatever they call him. :) I teed off and.... holy crap! it was a good hit! My brother Ken who has always been a good golfer teed off and it was of course a good hit, right in the middle of the fairway. It turned out that even though mine was out in the rough, that it went farther. I then proceeded to make a nice chip shot followed by a good approach putt and a little shorty putt to par the hole. Astounding!

Then the second hole. Closest to the pin. I think mine landed in Australia.

Third hole was the longest tee shot. I figured that I had used up my good tee shot on the first hole, but I got up there, recalled my lessons at the hand of a pro, and swung. It felt good... and it looked good. In the distance, we could see the litlle white bag that held the $1 pot contributions. My ball was close to it. As we approached, it turned out that my ball had beat it by about a yard. Disbelief washed over me, as I claimed the prize for the longest drive.

Other competitions included shortest drive (won by my son James aka the Bug... about 5 feet.), longest putt, fewest strokes (my dad won that one), most strokes (James almost won that, but was beat out at the last minute). The last hole was designated as "Nick Wins". Nick was the groom. The rule was that the winner of the last hole takes all of the pots from the previous holes. The idea being that we gave Nick and Aubrey some money to play with on their honeymoon.

It was pretty hot even though we started a bit after 8:00 am. We had a good time though. My brother Mike and his family were here from Florida. I didn't know they were coming, so I was pleasantly surprised when he walked up and said hello at the golf course.

After golf, we went home and picked up the Bear, and the golf group went to IHOP and were treated to breakfast by my brother Ken, who is the bride's father. The Bear ordered the big huge pancake that has two strawberries for eyes, and banana slices that form a smile. James "cut it up" for him, but sort of massacred it. It looked like Freddy Krueger did it. :)

The wedding began at 6:30pm at a place called the Wright House. The wedding was outside, but in the shade and covered by big fans. The wedding commenced with the traditional walks up the aisle. Over the speakers came the song "Butterfly Kisses". As it got to the part about losing his baby tonight or whatever it says, that was when Ken was walking Aubrey. It got him, and his face crinkled up and went red. That of course got everyone else too.

The ceremony was very nice, and once photos were taken, the reception got underway. They had fabulous shake that was french vanilla flavored... auughhghhghgh french vanilla (Homer Simpson style). The wedding cake was not so traditional. It had a couple tiers as usual, then a few tiers of cupcakes.

As part of the reception, there was music playing, so we took advantage of it. Here are a couple shot of me and DramaMama cutting a rug:

"Will You Still Call Me Superman?"

And here are several other candid shots from the evening:

Me playing the part of Samson and bringing down the wedding place

Our part of the wedding cake.

Jamesie G

YEAH BAYBEE!

After the wedding, we went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. We had an "un-birthday" for James. Here he is on the saddle while the whole place gave a big YEEHAW for him.

Why Teenage Boys Make Lousy Babysitters

Cookies and Cheez and the Bear, oh MY!

Every year, my family has "Cookie Train" day, where all of us gather at my dad's house and make exotic creations from cookies, candy, and icing (acts as the glue).

The first picture here, is actually from Thanksgiving day. Behind me there were three people with guitars, only one of which could really play.

I was plinking around on the piano, when my sister and her camera approached. Being the odd-duck I am, I quickly spotted a kleenex laying on the piano. I rolled it up and stuck it in my mouth.

Notice the Jesus statue on top of the piano. A close look will reveal that it is missing the right hand. Well, that happens on moves. Even closer observation will reveal a mysterious blue hat on Jesus's head. "Why is Jesus wearing a blue hat?" I asked. The explanation was that the broken off hand was wrapped up in blue tape and stuck to his head. I thought that was an odd place to stick it, but there you are.

So, anyway, on to cookie trains. The Bear and I decided to work together on his project. He helped for about the duration of this next photo.

I decided to be innovative this year, and made a snowman out of marshmallows, and a North Pole sign. Part of the fun of the cookie train build is all of the creative things people come up with. Another is eating all of the building materials that didn't get used. Needless to say, I ate a crapload of crap, which is why I look like a wide-body jet.

By the way, if you are trying to figure out what my shirt says, I'll tell you.

"Church Basketball... the brawl that begins with prayer." Having played in many a church basketball game, this shirt spoke truth to my soul, and I had to own it. ;)

Some of the funny things that emerged from this year's event were a melted snowman, and a gingerbread man strapped to railroad tracks in front of the oncoming cookie train while the gingerbread wife looked on. That one also had a pooping snowman (round white candy). Quite lovely.

The Bear and his cousins played the entire duration, and had a good old time. At one point they were in the back yard making "Magic Potions". These turned out to be red plastic cups with water from the bathroom mixed with dirt, rocks, and grass from Dad's yard. I overheard a discussion about whose potion had the most rocks in it. Gotta love kids.

The Bear was so excited that his cousins were driving down from Utah to be with us for Thanksgiving. Here he is with one of them.

Next we visit the same two really getting into their work.

The Ferocious Fart Beast

Everybody Loves Ramen

In our family we have some real doozies when it comes to conversations making no sense whatsoever. A prime example happened yesterday. The Bear, DramaMama and I were in our bedroom preparing the Bear for bed. Everyone Loves Raymond was playing in the background, then this string of sentences happened:

Me: Time for bed Bear.

Bear: I'm Hungry, I want some of Clinton's noodles

Daddy heads off to the kitchen to prepare the noodles.

DramaMama: He means "Ramen".

Bear: His name is RAVE-UND!

...

So in the matter of a few seconds we went from bedtime to a very strange conglomeration of Ramen noodles, Raymond Barone and Raven Simone.

Why All Dogs Go to Heaven

Life these days

Somedays you are the deer... the rest, you are the carrot!

You Know it Had to Happen!

You always knew there would come a time when Daniel Radcliffe would be too old to continue playing the role of Harry Potter.

Weezil Breezes has an exclusive from Warner Brothers that Daniel has also become too expensive for their tastes.

Beginning with Book 6 which was recently released to the world, the new actor will be none other than...



Cheeziel Radcliffe aka Hairy Potter

Please note that contracts are not yet finalized, but the source, though a little woolley, seemed somewhat reliable.

All proceeds from movie 6 Hairy Potter and the Half-Blade Prince will go towards children's literacy in Wagadoogoo.

The Weezil Comes Out of the Closet... The Blogging Boss as Well! Sheesh, and Now Jillian! AW GEEZ! Wendy is in on it TOO!

Could it be... is it so????

Is CheezWeezil really.....

CheezWill Riker?



Well, I did make a pretty convincing Riker back in the day, but... I have a confession to make...



I did the "Face Off" thing here...



Sorry Jill... I couldn't find a real picture of me as Riker. But amazingly enough, I found one of Eric as Jean-Luc Picard!



Hey Eric... This one was in the bottom of my sock drawer:



Wendy: I didn't want to leave you out... I hope you aren't horrified by the result ;)



Shane: You were going to be Geordi, but your picture is too dang small!

JILL!

You do realize I couldn't let something like that get by me! HAR HAR HAR



Hover your mouse over the picture but dont click. He he he!

It doesn't take a genius...

Sorry I hacked into your site honey!

It's true though!

Love,

Drama mama

The Things Kids Endure at the Hands of Their Older Siblings

Family Photo Outtakes

Doesn't even need a caption

Now we step into the way back machine....

Now that we have covered the higher topics of poop and toots, I thought we would descend in to the world of Disney. Sort of like that submarine ride they used to have. Either that or the "doodloo doodloo doodloo" sound Wayne Campbell makes right after he tells Garth to take his Ritalin and they fade into a fantasy together.

So like 326 years and 9 days ago, I got divorced. At the time it was no fun, but now I couldn't be happier about it. Why you ask? Because I met this fine lady.

My son you are about to meet was brand new when this happened. His mom left me before she had him. Tra la la la... don't cry for me concertina... la la de da.... Anyway, when my little guy was 2, his mom went to California with him, and drove PAST Disneyland, but didn't take him. I was appalled, nay shocked and appalled.

So amidst harumphs and pshaws, I went to the bank and refinanced my car for the third time, and bought a deluxe package deal for 5 days with passes to Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, Sand Diego Zoo, and Sea World. I was hot to trot.

Now he being 2 at the time, he doesn't remember any of it anymore (he turns 12 in February). But I have some great pictures of our adventures there.

First we visit the airplane ride to LAX. Here we see the Bug, as I called him then, getting "Soapies" out of the button used to lower the plane seat:

That's my stylish shoe in the corner.

Once we were in California, we went to Disneyland in the morning and had a great time, came home for a nap, then went back until dark. We had a shuttle from the hotel that took us to all of the parks, it was wonderful. The little guy would sleep during the shuttle rides, and occasionally at the parks. The Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki room got him, he missed most of it.

At Sea World, I took him to the area where the kids can touch the dolphins. He was too little to reach them, so I lifted him up and out. Right as he got to the dolphin, it purged its blowhole right in his face.

"Daddy, I don't want to see the dolphins anymore."

At Disneyland, he was an attraction in himself, because he has a daddy with a strange sense of humor. Before our trip, I had a shirt made for him that read "I kicked Mickey Mouse at Disneyland." He is wearing it in the pictures to come. Most people thought it was funny, even the characters. One lady however was practically outraged, that was in line for the Dumbo ride. Luckily, we didn't have to deal with her much. Sheesh its a joke!

We visited Pinnochio. He was there with Kitty. Kitty thought it was funny, but as they are not allowed to talk, he had to tap me on the shoulder and mimic laughing with his paw to his mouth. Then he got Pinnochio's attention and pointed to the shirt. Great fun.

Here we see him honking Kitty's nose... notice Kitty is still pointing at his shirt:

Ain't he cute?

Somewhere during our visit we saw Roger Rabbit... Hey, it was probably in Toon Town, duh! Anyway, here's the Bug with Roger Rabbit, and you get a better look at his shirt:

Now, years later, like last March... The family minus the Bug went to Disneyland to see our 14 year old play with his band at the Carnation Plaza, which by the way, I did on two separate occasions with my group when I was 17, but I digress.

So before the trip, I thought it would be fun to have the Bear wear the same shirt. It would be sort of a rite of passage, a baton passing if you will from Bug to Bear of a treasured family item. My wife had issue with it for some reason, and actually took a poll on her blog to see what all you thought about it. I lost the vote. So the Bear just wore boring old kid clothes.

I will have more on the Bug, The Bear, Big Brother Vegan Boy, DramaMama, and CheezWeezil in days to come. Until then...

POOP! TOOT!

Start 'em Early I Say!

"Pull My Finger!"

Caption Me in my Spidey Undies