Sunday, July 30, 2006

Quote of the day

"I can't talk without a brain Daddy."
-- The Bear

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Friday, July 28, 2006

Hydras, Dragons, and Chimeras, Oh My!

As you are most likely aware, I am a computer guy of the web developer/programmer persuasion. In my company, we have a small IT department... for awhile I was IT.

A few months ago we added a networking guy into the mix. He is of my ilk, and enjoys a good laugh. Well yesterday we had a good reason to.

About a week ago the company hired a new accounting woman, but there were too many butts, and not enough seats, so they parked her in our office. That was all well and good, except that her training then also happened in our office.

Now programmer types like their quiet, so I glued my headphones in my ears and cranked up the tunes to cover the training-in-loud-voice behind me.

So I was engrossed in my programming, writing a PHP script to change the world when the trainer and trainee both wigged out and ran from the desk screaming. My immediate thought was that a big spider or cricket had "attacked" them.

Trainer: "THERE'S A LIZARD IN THERE!!!!!!!"

Trainee: "I'M DONE, I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!"

Me: "A lizard? COOL! where?"


I looked around and couldn't see anything.


So I poked my head in there, and nearly missed it again. What I saw was hardly terrifying, in fact the critter was a BABY lizard, and was about an inch and a half long.

So I grabbed a DVD spindle cover with the intention of trapping it underneath. As I got near, it darted out the hole in the back of the desk where the cables go through.

"I didn't get him."

Trainee: "You mean I have to work there, knowing that thing is around?"

Me: "Well... when he runs up your leg, let me know."

Oddly enough, I have a small plastic lizard that the Bear got from Chuck E. Cheese sitting on my keyboard. I took that over and set it on her desk.

"So he has a friend..."


Thursday, July 27, 2006

Meet my brother "Monkey Butt"

The Bear of course was the inspiration for this blog. Not long ago, I was taking the Bear to bed, and we were going through the obligatory "good night John Boy" thing. As we were passing DrummerBoy's room, I told the Bear to tell him goodnight. The Bear hollered, "GOOD NIGHT MONKEY BUTT!"

Now... I was reminiscing at work today about the wonderful nicknames my siblings and I had as kids. My oldest brother was dubbed "King Tut" because he would read while in the bathroom and be in there for a very long time. My oldest sister went by "Christmas" because we were always waiting for her. I had a couple over the years. They show the love my family had for me. When I was a toddler I was known as "Dingbat". As I grew older, I became (shudder) "Dinkledorf". My younger sister had many. She started out as a baby with "Who", because that was the sound she made all the time. That evolved into Hoppeye (rhymes with Popeye). At one point she was "Relly" (Her name was Linda, but after a viewing of Cinderella, she got dubbed "Linda Relly"). Then the best one I ever came up with... "Stink Weed".

Alright, game on... Tell me your childhood nicknames, or ones you used on others. Don't be shy, I figure I will be addressed as Dinkledorf by my blog readers for awhile because of this. :)

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Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Bear sings again

I mentioned the other day that the Bear had altered the words to a church song to include fresh fecal material. Well, the trend continues.

Today's episode takes us through the wonderous world of children's programming on television. One of the Bear's favorite DVDs is one from the show "Max & Ruby".

Today as we were doing the butt cleaning thing, he started singing the theme song to this show with altered words.


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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Toenail Ice Cream

You may want to check your barf mechanism on this one.

Several years ago, before the dawn of DramaMama, a buddy and I frequently played network computer games. We would go to the store first to get goodies to eat while we played. We soon settled on our favorite items which turned out to be pumpkin and chocolate chip cookies, and ice cream.

My friend was rather fond of a particular flavor produced by the Girl Scouts called "Thin Mint". Now all of you Girl Scout cookie lovers know how fabulous that flavor is.

One day as we were choosing our ice creams at the store, the topic came up of just how many Girl Scouts were in this Ice Cream? Being guys of the single persuasion, we couldn't just leave it at that. We were soon practically rolling in the aisle bantering back and forth about lips and eyeballs and the like.

By the time we left the store, Girl Scout Thin Mint Ice Cream and been re-christened "Toenail Ice Cream".

A couple days ago as I was cruising through Osco, I saw a container and had myself a fond reminiscence. I of course bought it and shared it with my family.

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