DramaMama's Surgery

I just wanted to update you on Erica after her surgery this morning. For those of you who didn't know, she had a hysterectomy.

She has been in a bad way for a couple of months now, and the doctor thought that this would be the way to solve the problems.

She went in to surgery at 9am on Friday. The doc came and talked to us at 10:30am and said everything went great, no complications or problems.

While we (me and Erica's mom) were waiting, the hospital had two different Code Red alerts. That is always a confidence builder, when you aren't sure if the hospital is going to burn down before they finish the operation.

After meeting with the doc, we waited another two hours with no more news about recovery, or whether she had been moved to a room yet. We asked the desk, and they sent us up to room 704. She was still asleep when we got there, but began to stir and groan periodically soon after that. She has one of those pain button deals, so she was slamming on that.

Around 6:00pm they got her up and walking, and although she was understandably a bit shaky, she did fine. She is in good spirits.Thank you all for your prayers and concern for her through all of this, it is very much appreciated.

Cheezan of the Apes

I preface this with the status of DramaMama's and my head conditions:

DramaMama: Her migraine has lasted for over a week.

Me: Steady on for about a month I have had a comin' and going' tension headache. I find my self clenching my teeth so hard its a wonder I dont break a tooth.

Today, on advice from her mother, DramaMama tried a new combo of medicines that would knock out her headache. She took Anacin with Advil Cold & Sinus, and Kaplow! it took it out just like her mom said it would. WOO HOO! She was so happy not to have a headache at last.

Meanwhile, I have taken to chewing gum to try to take pressure off my teeth. I'm not quite sure what my deal is, but a few days ago, I missed a couple of days of my happy pills and I felt like I was in a rage. Everything was annoying, and I wanted to throw, smash, yell, scream and be all-around unpleasant. I finally got more of my meds and they calmed me down a bit. I am happy to report that I did none of the above other than a bit of screaming which I will detail below.

I watched Greystoke, the Legend of Tarzan the other night, and Tarzan made a great yelling sound. RRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! So I tried it out, and boy did I like it. I kept doing it, and the Bear said, "Be quiet, I can't hear my show!"

I found out years ago while playing county rec volleyball that a good primal yell did wonders for getting me back in the game and focused. It's noisy and draws attention to you, but try it sometime when your bejeebers are being frustrated out of you... You might just like it.

RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Barf Fest 2006

COUGH COUGH HWAAAUUUGGHGHHHHHHHH!!! SSHLLLLOOORRPRPPPPP!! UUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!! SCHLOOOORRRRPPPPP!!!!!! HACK HACKKKK SCHLOOORRPPPP!!!!!!

This was the fine sound that woke us up at 12:30 this morning. The Bear had come down a short while earlier and was sleeping on the floor to the side of our bed.

"Did you just throw up?"

"Yes." GWAAAUUGHGHHHH!!!! SCCHLOOORRRRPPPPP!!!!!!

"Aim for the blanket!!!!"

Okay, that was pretty graphic, but welcome to our world. The blankets and several towels went into the laundry, the pillow went into a garbage bag and out to the trash. DramaMama cleaned up the excess that made it into the carpet. Daddy got a new pillow and blankets, and a bowl. The Bear got hosed down and changed out of his split-pea soup covered clothes.

Awwww, back to sleep. I wish. I lay awake for 2 hours, because I have this real annoying thing that if I wake up in the night, I have a hard time getting back to sleep.

So about 2 hours passed. COUGH COUGH HWWUUUUAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!

"AW CRAP!!!"

This time I was able to get him into the bathroom in front of the potty. I returned to the scene of the barfing to clean up when he started up again in the bathroom. When I got back to where I could see him, I expected to see him hunched over the potty gutting it into the can. Not our Bear. He was standing up arched back, projectile vomiting into the bathroom.

I made the mistake of hollering, which drew his attention mid-spew, which in turn altered the course of the pea soup. SCHLLLOOOORRPPPPPPP!!!!

It reminded me of some horror movie I saw a clip from.

We finally got him on his knees and hocking like a proper sick child. Drama took bathroom cleaning duty, while I cleaned up the blankets and set them into the washer. The first load was done, so it went into the dryer. I prepared yet another nest for our sick little bear.

Awwww to sleep, perchance to... GWAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

This time, I got him in the bathroom and in proper chucking position before the flood gates opened. One successful barf-a-rama later, and it was back to bed.

Shortly before I left for work he went at it again, but made it to the bathroom in time.

I'll spare the details of the big orange chunks in it that looked like hunks of cheddar. Oh wait, that was a detail. DOH!

Draggin' me Waggin

By way of an update of sorts, not a lot of progress has been made as to the more serious of my ailments. I think I have kicked the pnuemonia, but still have coughing fits at night. The urgent care doc told me that an enlarged heart makes you cough.

People always told me I had a big heart, but I thought they meant I was a nice, generous kinda guy.

I still am not feeling 100%, but I am better than I was. I still get pooped easily, and I think it is aggravating my dear wifey. We attended our annual breakfast with Santa yesterday, and I ran out of gas about half way through. I missed her family Christmas party because I wasn't feeling well, and pretty much slept from when we got home from breakfast until after 1:00 in the afternoon. I would have slept longer but the phone woke me up. I seriously crashed. DramaMama hasn't said much to me since.

So anyway, I made her dinner last night, and have been cleaning a bit today. We have family coming over for our Christmas party in 2 hours. We all need a vacation. We all need some alone time to feed our souls as it where.

I need to have a nap before the party so I don't be the Grinch again this year.

Sickies-R-Us

Well, I was feelin' so bad, asked my family doctor 'bout what I had,
I said, "Doctor, Doctor, Mister M.D., can you tell me, what's ailing me?"

He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"
All you need, all you really need: good druggin'...

If you happened upon DramaMama's post before arriving here, you already know the bulk of what I have to say today.

Both the Bear and I have been diagnosed with Pneumonia. This explains this hacky cough I've had for long time, feeling cruddy most of the time, and lately, a serious lack of energy.

Saturday, DramaMama and I volunteered at the Christmas Tree lot that is raising funds for the high school band program. That went okay, but my back was hurting by the time we left. Upon arriving home, I went out to work in the yard. I ripped out an old shambles of a trellis with vines, and got down on the ground to remove the roots of the vine. I was having trouble breathing when I would lean forward. I managed to get that done.

I then went to the other side of the house and started digging out the root system of a nasty sucker tree thing that sprouted in the place our apple tree used to be. By the time I had the bulk of those roots out I was feeling really dizzy and had to lean against the house for a little while. I was gasping going into the house with a swimmy head. I went and laid down.

That evening, the Bear had a high fever, and DramaMama took him to urgent care. She came home with the diagnosis of pnuemonia, with an asterisk suggesting the possibilty of a condition that I believe is unique to this area called "valley fever" which is a fungal thing. DramaMama took to the internet and read up on it. She told me that its symptoms sounded very much like what has been going on with me. The fever is contracted from the soil here, and since we have been doing extensive yard work lately, that seemed plausible.

So once I returned from church, she shooed me off to urgent care. I thought about taking my book to work on while I waited, but she said that they didn't have to wait. I should have taken my book. Once I was signed in, I asked what the wait would be. The lady told me an hour and a half in and out. HA! I was still working on my nap at that point. I also read the bulk of the most recent Reader's Digest.

It was over 2 hours before I got into a room, but they got to me relatively quickly after that. My doctor was a black woman who was very nice, but looked to be one of those that you wouldn't want to have mad at you. I told her why I was there, and she immediately told me that they cannot diagnose Valley Fever at urgent care, and that I would have to go to my primary care physician. Crap! there's another blown co-pay!

She listened to my lungs and said they sounded tight. She ordered a breathing treatment and a chest x-ray.

So they hooked me up with a unit that looked like a sci-fi smoking machine. Then they took me in for the chest x-ray. They got front and side views. The technician asked me if my wife and son were in recently. I told her they had come in the night before. "You look just like him."

So anyway, the doc came in and listened to my lungs again. Do you smoke? No. Hmmm.

She went away and came back a little while later with another doctor. She listened to my lungs. Do you smoke? No. They went away.

The first doc came back and asked to look at my feet. "Are your feet swollen?"

"No, but sometimes when I come home from work my legs are. You can see the dent where my sock was."

"You're sure you don't smoke?"

"Only secondhand smoke."

She eventually told me that the x-ray showed that I have pnuemonia, and also an enlarged heart.

"What causes that?"

"Lot's of things, but I am thinking it might be a viral infection causing it."

She indicated that this could add to my coughing.

I got another breathing treatment, and they loaded me up with prescriptions, blood work orders, and copies of my x-rays, and sent me packing.

I went right to the pharmacy, and waited while they filled my prescriptions. I got an inhaler, anti-biotics, and cough medicine. That took about a half hour or so.

All in all the trip to the doc was about 5 hours. I was pooped when I got back and crashed on the couch.

DramaMama hit the internet and told me about the enlarged heart condition. It basically means that the heart needed to strengthen in order to get the proper blood flow. This leads to fine things like congestive heart failure, which my dad has.

So now I get to go get vampired, and go to the primary care doc tomorrow to have her review the x-rays.

All I wanted was a nice relaxing weekend. HA! I'm pooped.

Dating Advice From the Bear

Last night, DramaMama and I took some time for ourselves... um... well as best as we could. I worked late and arrived home just before 6:00. I opened the door, and DramaMama called out that she wasn't ready yet and don't peek. I waited for about 10 minutes before I was allowed out of the front room into the kitchen/dining area.

I walked in to see candles, romantic music playing via satellite and Sirius, crystal filled with an enchanting orange colored drink*, food from Carraba's... and the Bear at 12:00. We shared our intimate candlelight dinner with the Bear.

"When is it noodles?"

"After we finish the calamari and soup."

"When are you going to be done with your soup?"

And so the evening continued.

"Are you having a date?"

"Yes, we are."

"Then dance."

"Huh?"

"You're s'post to dance on dates."

"Oh..."

"So Daddy, go dance with Momma. You can dance around the kitchen, but be careful not to bonk into stuff."

After the Bear had his noodles, it was declared: "IT DANCIN' TIME!" So Sirius provided some upbeat dancing tunes and the three of us danced about like loons. DramaMama and I attempted a nice slow dance, but with a side car. I held the Bear in one arm, and DramaMama in the other. It was all so romantical, complete with "EEEEWWWWWW" whenever I kissed DramaMama.

It was a lovely evening, and DramaMama and I got to spend some much needed time together, even though we were both feeling a little puny.

My Week and My Letter From the Bear

As you may have read on DramaMama's blog, I have been rather ill this week. It hit me Monday evening with a vengeance.

I stayed home from work on Tuesday, but still ended up doing a couple hours remotely.

Wednesday I went in, even though I felt like the Triceratops poop pile on Jurassic Park.

Thursday I stayed home, and talked my boss into paying me sick pay for the two days I was out. He agreed as long as I kept on top of all my work remotely. He's a peach ain't he? So there I sat at my home computer for several hours... feverish and chilling... helping some local politicians get their message out. I went to the doctor and got some meds. During the day as I was resting, the Bear came in with a sheet of paper with kid squiggly writing on it.

"I wrote you a letter, Daddy."

"Gwarksit Zhey?" Translation from ill-speak: "What's it say?"

"I hope you feel better, because you still talk weird."

Friday I was starting to feel better but was still way below par. I went into the office for what turned out to be the day from that hot burny place. I ended up pulling a 14 hour shift and finally left at about 10:00pm. I had very little for breakfast, then I had a Healthy Choice dinner thingy for lunch (very small). I had a yogurt too, but I guess when I put my lunch in the fridge, my for pierced the foil cap, and by lunchtime there was yogurt all over everything. I didn't eat the yogurt.

I drove from work to DrummerBoy's school to pick him up. He had just returned from playing at a football game.

Once I got home I finally got to eat, but then a long night of coughing commenced. Boy was that fun! A couple of times it felt like my lungs were going flop inside out of my mouth. I was coughing so hard that a couple times my neck popped. It was one of those very dry, very scratchy throat kind of cough. I'll spare the imagery about the voluminous goo.

So last night I got about zots for sleep. "Why are you typing a blog then dough-head?" you might ask. Well... iunno.

I am feeling somewhat better today, but am still having periodic bouts with this cough.

This thing really kicked my butt. I can only think of two instances in my life where I felt more sick than I did Thursday:

1) Just over a year ago when I was hospitalized (thinking I was having a heart-attack). I had been having severe nausea and other end, mixed with cold sweats. The whole scene was rather graphic, I will spare the gross details for non "technicolor yawn" fans.

2) Probably 13 years ago, I ate lunch at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants and ordered the Mexican-poop Tacos... um, I mean Chile Verde Chimichanga. This was my usual there. Something weren't quite right with it that day though. That evening I would have been glad to have been put out of my misery. This too involved great expulsion of barf matter from full-wide mouth portal, but I'll spare the details. *

So as you can see I felt rather crappy. I am happy to say though that my very long day yesterday did get me caught up with the mountainous amount of political mailing list data you can imagine.

So now... I think I'll work. On my book, I mean. :)


* See the comments for a cool story about this.

My trip to Wal-Mart by CheezWeezil

Not a title for a novel by any stretch, but hey... this is a blog.

DramaMama has been fighting a nasty yuck-fest being sick, so I went to the store and took the Bear with me. Up until now, he has been relatively easy to shop with, but he is moving into the the phase where everything he sees he wants.

We had a list reminiscent of Santa's of items I needed to get. It quickly became a packing and stacking experiment to see if we could make it with only a single cart. The Bear soon became fixed in his position with groceries piled all around. There was a mysterious "CLEAN UP ON AISLE 5!" call, but we won't go into that.

As is usually the case, the most important items on the list either were not in stock, or required government clearance to purchase, so we bought other stuff instead. So by the time the Bear was just eyeballs and a suit made of frozen Hungry Man dinners, we made our way to the checkout. For some reason there appeared to be two choices: The hundred mile long line or self-checkout.

"I'm not going to self check all this crap!" I said to noone listening.

Then I noticed that there were actually two checkers fed by the same line, but most of the people hadn't spotted the second one who was cleverly hidden behind a large pile of groceries.

Whistling a nonchalant tune, I moved to the second checkout station, with only one person in line in front of me. I soon realized why the items I needed weren't in stock. This lady had her own 18-wheeler backed up to the front doors of Wal-Mart to take her haul home. "That'll be 4 million, eight hundred thousand, five hundred and eight six dollars and eleven cents please dear."

News crews were everywhere filming this unprecedented volume of grocery items. Okay, so I'm exaggerating, sue me.

Anyway, it finally came to be our turn, all of our stuff taking up the entire span of the moving belt. Everything was going fine until about half-way through I realized the DramaMama had sent me with competitor sale ads for price matches on a few of the items.

"Aw, CRAP! Some of this is price matches."

The checker who I will describe as a squaw from the blue-hair tribe of East Mesa, let out a noise of annoyance and irritation. She hailed the manager nearby as I checked the list and discovered that some of the price match items had already been scanned.

The manager shook her head.

"Is it too late?"

"Not if you don't mind starting over."

"Aww CRAP!"

I was about to just bag it and eat the cost, when the manager told the checker that she could void the items and rescan them. A simple task you might think, but the older woman nearly inhaled her false teeth at the prospect.

The Manager showed her how to do it, and I was apologizing profusely. Laser beams carved old lady initials in my forehead... okay... exaggerating again.

She got that all going, basically telling me to cork my gob while she got it done. Meanwhile the Bear is in the cart letting me know that he wants to go home and getting animal crackers everywhere. (He won out on that one.)

About three shift changes later, she finally rung up the total. "That'll be 4 million...." okay, okay, its was only $140 something. I scanned the card, and klaxons blared, men dressed in black descended from the ceiling on ropes...

Okay the card cleared, sheesh.

So I employed four stout Wal-Mart Grandpa's to help me push the cart to the door. By now the frozen Hungryman suit was getting soft, the milk was brown, and the Bear needed a shave.

"Hey Dad dude," the now gruff voice of the Bear said. "Is that your phone?"

I had not even heard it, but took it out and it was ringing. Being phone challenged, I hung up on the caller who turned out to be my dear, ill DramaMama. I called back and was told I needed to pick up The Large Drummer Boy and his sidekick Dreadlock Whitey.

So I traveled to the mall having to make three passes by the designated pickup spot before finding them. I was so frustrated that foul things such as "Darn Soup!" had escaped my lips.

Now, as I mentioned before, there was an item that I needed to get for DramaMama that required goverment clearance to purchase, so I headed to the pharmacy drive-up window.

This time there really was only one line, and it was a hundred cars deep. Blue-hairs on Metamucil runs or something.

After about ten minutes of waiting, Drummer Boy spoke in a most irritated tone letting me know that we would be home already if we had just parked and gone inside.

Did I mention that it is monsoon season and there was horrific lightning and heavy rain going on at the time?

I held my tongue with a comment about how I would also be home if I didn't have to circle the mall 3 times.

So, I finally got to the window and asked for a box of Advil Cold and Sinus which can now only be purchased directly from the pharmacist due to large quantities being stolen and used to produce crystal meth.

Now the guys in black descended from helicopters, took my life history, fingerprinted me and took mugshots, then I had to sign a book.

So after the body cavity search, I was allowed the box of medication for my dear wife.

At last we arrived home and carried in the vast quantities of grocery items.

All in all a rather interesting trip to the store. The highlight of course being able to annoy the matronly checkout Gramma. My work is done.

Sad. Dad. Dad is Sad.

Yesterday was not a good day for our family. Our precious little Bear had a doctor's appointment to have his legs checked. His pull-a-diagnosis-and-remedy-outta-my-butt did nothing to bolster our hopes for our little guy.

The doctor said after a very brief examination that the Bear should wear leg braces for the rest of his life. He asked if the Bear had been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, which he has not. Even without a proper diagnosis, this doctor wants to sentence our boy to a lifetime of wearing leg braces.

I was at work when DramaMama called me to break the news. She put the Bear on the phone, and I heard some of the most heart wrenching words I have ever heard him say. He said, "I don't want to be a robot!"

I love the smell of Old Spice in the morning

This year, the title of this post has particular significance to our family.

Several months ago, DramaMama's father was driving on a long trip, and was stricken with severe pain inside. He was taken to the hospital where it was determined that his esophagus had ruptured. The extreme pain he was feeling was due the stomach acid leaking into his body cavity and beginning to digest his insides.

It took many months of intensive care, and hospice work to bring him back to us, several times nearly failing to do so. Many a prayer was offered in his behalf, and at great length they were answered.

He has since returned home, weakened, but alive and kicking. My father-in-law uses Old Spice, and he and my mother-in-law are here with us for Christmas. We gave them our bedroom for the duration of their stay.

When I walked in there this morning, I smelled the Old Spice. What a blessing to our family to be able to smell that again.

Welcome home GrandDad and Merry Christmas!

Not writing a poem today, deal with it

Holy crap what a month.

Working hard at work, coming home and working hard for the business, and freelance work for my brother's business. I am a whole lot of wiped out and tired these days.

On a more positive note though, ever since I got out of the hospital, my wife and I have changed our eating habits significantly, and so far I have dropped about 25 pounds. She had a quick burst at first but has stalled for a few days. I am hoping that for her sake that she sees some more progress soon so she doesnt get discouraged. She it still upbeat about it for the most part.

What was the deal with the hospital you ask? I got a new prescription for blood pressure called Dyazide. It is a diuretic which basically turns on your water works full blast, and washes away harmful things. The problem is that it also washes away good things such as Potassium. Herein lies the problem. I started feeling wierd right away on the medication, then one night became extremely ill. Cold sweat pouring of of me, the runs and vomiting all over the bathroom. It was a lovely evening. I stayed home from work the next day, and felt reasonably well. I went to work the next day and felt like crap. I was having twinges in my heart area, and my left arm was numbing and tingly. I went straight from work to the Emergency Room, where I was admitted for 2 days. They pumped tons of potassium into me via IV. I was so low, that when the first IV drip hit my system it smacked me hard and I honestly felt like I was going to check out. I started the cold sweat thing again and felt very nauseous. My heart rate dropped really low. After several minutes, I got through it. They told me that the potassium level is supposed to be 3.8 to 5.something, I was at 2.5. I learned that your heart needs the potassium to function, and if it gets too low, your heart will stop. If I hadn't gone in, I could have been in some serious trouble.

It took a couple of weeks out of the hospital on new blood pressure medicine and daily potassium pills, bananas and sunflower seeds to start feeling decent again. Every once in a while, I still feel "oogy".