Drawing With the Bear

Anything I do with the Bear sets me up for a really good laugh. This kid is a never ending fountain of funny.

This evening before bed, we were "drawing". I would make the outline of a head and eyes, and the Bear would do the rest. When he got to the ears, he stuck a finger in one of his own.

"There's a hole there." So he drew a hole on the paper ear.

"There's another little hole down there." So he drew a second hole.

"Then there's the crap." He started scribbling inside the ear. "There's always crap in there."

Cookies and Cheez and the Bear, oh MY!

Every year, my family has "Cookie Train" day, where all of us gather at my dad's house and make exotic creations from cookies, candy, and icing (acts as the glue).

The first picture here, is actually from Thanksgiving day. Behind me there were three people with guitars, only one of which could really play.

I was plinking around on the piano, when my sister and her camera approached. Being the odd-duck I am, I quickly spotted a kleenex laying on the piano. I rolled it up and stuck it in my mouth.

Notice the Jesus statue on top of the piano. A close look will reveal that it is missing the right hand. Well, that happens on moves. Even closer observation will reveal a mysterious blue hat on Jesus's head. "Why is Jesus wearing a blue hat?" I asked. The explanation was that the broken off hand was wrapped up in blue tape and stuck to his head. I thought that was an odd place to stick it, but there you are.

So, anyway, on to cookie trains. The Bear and I decided to work together on his project. He helped for about the duration of this next photo.

I decided to be innovative this year, and made a snowman out of marshmallows, and a North Pole sign. Part of the fun of the cookie train build is all of the creative things people come up with. Another is eating all of the building materials that didn't get used. Needless to say, I ate a crapload of crap, which is why I look like a wide-body jet.

By the way, if you are trying to figure out what my shirt says, I'll tell you.

"Church Basketball... the brawl that begins with prayer." Having played in many a church basketball game, this shirt spoke truth to my soul, and I had to own it. ;)

Some of the funny things that emerged from this year's event were a melted snowman, and a gingerbread man strapped to railroad tracks in front of the oncoming cookie train while the gingerbread wife looked on. That one also had a pooping snowman (round white candy). Quite lovely.

The Bear and his cousins played the entire duration, and had a good old time. At one point they were in the back yard making "Magic Potions". These turned out to be red plastic cups with water from the bathroom mixed with dirt, rocks, and grass from Dad's yard. I overheard a discussion about whose potion had the most rocks in it. Gotta love kids.

The Bear was so excited that his cousins were driving down from Utah to be with us for Thanksgiving. Here he is with one of them.

Next we visit the same two really getting into their work.

Happy Holidays from the Sewer Treatment Plant

Last evening, DramaMama and I were watching a show in our room when the Bear came in.

"Daddy will you get me some of your favorite drink of egganog?"

"Ask Clinton if he will get some for you."

"No, he might say it's poop!"

A Day in the Life of a Bear

Today was a big long day for the Mama Bear and the Little Bear. Yesterday, the Bear lost his first tooth, and awoke to find two dollars in quarters and three rolls of Smarties under his pillow.

He had to get up at 4:30 this morning in order to go to the hospital for an operation. He had a muscle biopsy taken that will hopefully reveal the source of his troubles.

He called me at work to tell me that he was big for the shot and didn't cry. They took him into surgery at around 8:30am. They made an incision about an inch long, and took two samples of muscle tissue from deep inside.

It will take a few weeks to get the results, but we will keep you all posted. After the operation, I got another call. This time from a very sad little Bear. Through his tears he told me that his leg hurts. DramaMama told me that they had just given him a shot for the pain. Within a few minutes, the Bear was dangling his legs off the side of his bed playing his GameBoy.

Daddy was a little stressed in the morning, even though I kept getting reassuring impressions that everything would be fine. There was an Elton John song stuck in my head with very troubling lyrics for the situation: "You're a butterfly, and butterflies have wings to fly. Fly away, fly away, bye bye." Daddy got choked up looking at the Bear's picture and said, "Please don't fly away."

I hurried home and found the Bear encamped on the couch. He got up to show me his leg. I was expecting his leg to be heavily bandaged, but they had used surgical glue to stick it all together.

The Bear has been surprisingly active, and this hasn't slowed him down much. Daddy plays elevator to get him up and down the stairs.

We appreciate those of you who offered your prayers and support in the Bear's behalf. He is a special little guy and means the world to us.

I am Troubled

Today something happened that made me want to kick myself around town for a few hours. The Bear and I went to Wal-Mart today, and passed a couple of older women, one of whom was using a walking cane in each hand, and seemed to be having difficulty walking.

I was thinking that maybe I should help her, and then get her into one of the electric cart deals. I didn't and moved past her.

I was half way between the front door and the entrance doors into the store when I heard "Oh my God!"

I turned to see the woman with the canes face down on the ground, blood all over her hands, face, and the ground. She was struggling to get up, but a young man jumped in and took control of the situation and got her seated in a chair. A young woman jumped in as well, caring for the other woman who was rather distraught. She was hugging her and comforting her.

I hollered to one of the employees to call for paramedics. I tried to get in closer to help too, but there were a lot of people, and the Wal-Mart crew was shooing people away.

A fire truck pulled up a few minutes later, and they took care of her. She was able to walk after they were done patching up the rather ugly wound on her forehead.

I felt horrible. I could have helped her before this happened, and could probably have prevented it from happening.

How hard really would it have been for me to take a couple minutes out of my life to make sure a struggling elderly woman made it safely into Wal-Mart?

I felt the need to applaud the young man and the young woman who didn't think twice about helping her.

So the moral of this story is: If you see an opportunity to help somebody... FRICKIN' DO IT!

Really lame party games

Last evening, I played baby-sitter at the church while the women-folk had a craft evening hosted by DramaMama. One of the kids was a girl the Bear's age and she wanted to play games. This was fine except that there were only 3 kids in the room.

"Let's play 'Duck Duck, Goose'"

So they sat down on little squares of carpet and set to playing. The goose went around the "circle" tapping imaginary heads and saying duck with each one. Then one of the actual participants would get tagged as the goose and a very odd chase would ensue. They would run around the circle, neither one really fleeing, and the other not really pursuing. Then the other would try it. That got old quick with only 2 choices for the goose.

Next came hide and seek. Please recall with me that we were at the church. Not a whole lot of hiding places in the 10 x 20 room we had been confined to. We opened the side door to the very small classroom (8 x 10) to the side. Nothing but a small table and a couple of chairs in there.

So anyway, the aforementioned girl counted to 40 while the others ran into the small room to hide. I peeked while the count was going on. What I saw was most amusing. The Bear and the younger sister of the one counting were "hiding" using the 2 chairs. Both of them had their heads beneath a chair, and the rest of them was protruding out into the room in plain sight.

Dating Advice From the Bear

Last night, DramaMama and I took some time for ourselves... um... well as best as we could. I worked late and arrived home just before 6:00. I opened the door, and DramaMama called out that she wasn't ready yet and don't peek. I waited for about 10 minutes before I was allowed out of the front room into the kitchen/dining area.

I walked in to see candles, romantic music playing via satellite and Sirius, crystal filled with an enchanting orange colored drink*, food from Carraba's... and the Bear at 12:00. We shared our intimate candlelight dinner with the Bear.

"When is it noodles?"

"After we finish the calamari and soup."

"When are you going to be done with your soup?"

And so the evening continued.

"Are you having a date?"

"Yes, we are."

"Then dance."

"Huh?"

"You're s'post to dance on dates."

"Oh..."

"So Daddy, go dance with Momma. You can dance around the kitchen, but be careful not to bonk into stuff."

After the Bear had his noodles, it was declared: "IT DANCIN' TIME!" So Sirius provided some upbeat dancing tunes and the three of us danced about like loons. DramaMama and I attempted a nice slow dance, but with a side car. I held the Bear in one arm, and DramaMama in the other. It was all so romantical, complete with "EEEEWWWWWW" whenever I kissed DramaMama.

It was a lovely evening, and DramaMama and I got to spend some much needed time together, even though we were both feeling a little puny.

Wise Words From a Five-Year-Old

"I'm the boss of my brain!"
- The Bear