Monday, July 02, 2007

The Tales of Black Eye Pete

This past weekend we had a family reunion with DramaMama's clan.

Some of her cousins and I have somewhat kindred spirits as we enjoy a good "ARRRRRRRR".

They were in charge of the reunion this time, so we had a pirate theme. I of course felt right at home.

We were at a privately owned pond in the middle of Show Low Arizona. It was a neat place. We were greeted at the entrance gate (One you have to get out of your car, unhook the bailing wire, and swing open to let the car in, then close again) by the property owner. He instructed us that we have to be sure to close the gate again, because the Sheriff called him earlier to tell him his horses were all over the highway. Once we pulled into the place we found the cousins watching, as you might have guessed, Pirates of the Carribean.

It was late by the time we arrived, so we headed off to bed. In the morning, we had a big group breakfast, then set about family reunion type activities. There was a good sized pond there complete with a rowboat, kayaks, and other floaty things.

We all got hosed down with sun screen. It was decidedly cooler there than in Mesa, but make no mistake, it was hot. Drummer Boy spent quite a lot of time in the water. We found out later how good of a job he did on his sunscreen application. He got everywhere he could reach, which obviously excluded his back. He got deep-fried, roasted, and baked. I have a nice red face, but am okay other than that. The Bear burned his legs a bit.

I took the Bug (he is visiting for the month) and the Bear out on the row boat and rowed to the far end of the pond and back. I discovered that I had rubbed up a sizeable blister on the inside of my right thumb. There is an oval about 3/4 of an inch long and about 1/4 inch wide. It is all red and cracky right now.

The Bug and the Bear spent a lot of time together either on or in the water. The Bear had a permanent life jacket on Saturday, even at dinner. All three boys had a great time.

This is the Bear with his "Treasure Map" which was actually the brackets for the horseshoe tournament.

Saturday evening, we had the traditional program of skits followed by homemade ice cream. I was talking to one of the cousins, and we jumped into pirate-speak mode. I threw out my best pirate line, and then he informed me that his brother who was supposed to emcee the program had hurt his back, and then asked if I would fill in.

Since I am a good pirate, I agreed. Last time I did this, I had a lot of advanced warnings, and had a lot of jokes ready. This time, I had to scramble to get something together. There was enough pirate stuff around that I was able to get into "costume". Once I was ready, I was told I looked like a "Dead Head". I donned the name "Black Eye Pete" and took the mic.

So I started off in fine voice, with nobody getting or laughing at my jokes. I dumped half of them, and my bits that I had worked up fell through.

I talked the Bear into coming up and telling a couple pirate jokes. I made one of them up, the other came courtesy of drummer boy.

Here they are for your enjoyment:

This is the one I made up:

"Where do Pirates put their banana peels?"


Coming from the Bear it got a good laugh.

This is the other one:

A pirate walked into an ice cream parlor. He had a wooden leg, A hook hand, and a patch on his eye. The shop owner asked, "How did you lose your leg?"

"ARRRR, I lost it in battle!"

"How did you lose your hand?"

"It were bitten off by a shark."

"How did you lose your eye?"

"A bird pooped in it."

"And that blinded you?

"No... it were the first day with me hook!"


We returned on Sunday after a very enjoyable weekend with family and the sun.

Here's his royal fatness losing horribly at horseshoes

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At July 07, 2007 10:09 PM, Blogger C. H. Green said...

Long time no see. I can tell you're having a busy summer, though. Looks like a lot of fun.

At August 04, 2007 8:50 AM, Blogger Shane said...

tough crowd eh? I thought those jokes were hillarious


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