Saturday, February 10, 2007

When Life Gives You a Swirly...

AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

IF credit_card_person = "Left Company"
dave_takes_over_transaction_duty = TRUE;

software_used_by_former_credit_card_person_is_now_obsolete = TRUE;

Do Purchase_New_Software with "$500";

Call_Tech_Support_with "Need Bank Info for New Software";

Tech_support_based_in_India = TRUE;
Tech_support_cannot_help = TRUE;

Call_Bank_With
"Need Bank Info for New Software";

New_Software_Not_Supported_With_Your_Merchant_Account = TRUE;

Wasted_five_hundred_bucks = TRUE;

do_cuss_and_swear_dance();

Call_GoDaddy_for_New_Merchant_account();

It_will_take_72_hours = TRUE;

New_Software_wont_work_here_either = TRUE;

say_SHEEPDIP_real_loud();

Follow_suggestion_of_DramaMama_to_use_Paypal();

Login_to_paypal();

Account_inactive_must_delete_and_sign_Up_for_new_account = TRUE;

Click_on_close_account();

Cannot_close_because_there_are_funds_in_account = TRUE;

call_paypal_and_wait_on_hold_for_45_minutes();

do Follow_tech_support_direction_to_login_to_paypal with "I CAN'T IT WON'T LET ME!";

Response = Await_Direction_From_Tech_Support();

if Response == "Did you login into your Paypal account?"
do_cuss_and_swear_dance();
remind_tech_support("I CAN'T IT WON'T LET ME!");

Submit_Forgot_Password_Form();

Receive_email();

Click_link_to_Change_password();

link_failed = TRUE;

Paste_Link_Directly_In_Browser();

success = TRUE;


Input_Answer_For("Question 1: Mother's Maiden Name);
Input_Answer_For("Question 2: Pet's Name);


Tell_Tech_Support("I DONT HAVE A PET!");

Follow_dumb_Tech_Support_Direction_to_type_in_anything();

Tech_support_based_in_India = TRUE;
Tech_support_cannot_help = TRUE;

response = Try_setting_up_new_paypal_account_using_personal_email_address();

if response = "Account already exists"
say("COOL!");
login_into_forgotten_account();
success=TRUE;
response2 = Add_Business_Bank_account();

if response2 = "Bank account already associated with different paypal account"
do_cuss_and_swear_dance();
reponse3 = Add_Personal_Account()
if response3 = "Bank account already associated with different paypal account"

repeat_cuss_and_swear_dance();

recall_that_dad_setup_a_paypal_account();
Login_into_dads_account();
success=true;

Prepare_code_to_process_dozens_of_cards_for_backlogged_orders();
Run_code();
success=true;

result = Enter_credit_card_info_for_first_order();

if result = "Enter in 3 digit Security code"
do_cuss_and_swear_dance();
Yell("AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!");
endif
endif
endif
endif

Wait_until_GoDaddy_account_becomes_active();

Buy_different_new_software();

endif


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Labels: ,

4 Comments:

At February 10, 2007 6:14 PM, Blogger drama mama said...

I have no idea what all that is, but I'm sorry you had a crappy day.

 
At February 15, 2007 10:22 AM, Blogger Kerrie said...

ROFLMBO!! Oh my goodness, I only peek in here periodically Dave, mostly I just laugh at your comments on Jill's blog. Today I'm siiiick so I'm letting the dear ones run wild and the house go to heck while I blogsurf.
This was almost worth feeling crummy for.
Ya think I spent too much of my youth coding LP muds? :-P

 
At February 26, 2007 10:37 AM, Blogger Dee said...

Ahahahahahha. That was toooo funny!

 
At February 26, 2007 10:38 AM, Blogger Dee said...

Now for the reason I stopped by... LOL.

Of course I remember you! :0D

Thanks for the support in purchasing a copy. I'd be quite happy to do a post about the book writing, editing, publishing, promoting process... LOL.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home