Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Ladies and Gentleman... Gimme the Dirt!

Everyone has one of the shining moments in life when hundreds if not thousands of eyes are upon you, and something happens to you that embarrasses you to death.

In this post I am asking for submissions of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you in front of a crowd.

To get things rolling, I will share one or two of mine.

1) After the Bear was born, we performed an ordinance for him that is traditionally done in front of the congregation at our church. It consists of officially naming the child, and pronouncing blessings upon them. To me, the weeks leading up to this event were some of the most spiritual I remember. I prayed alot, and prepared myself to be spiritually ready to perform this ordinance. Those I had asked to join me (Strude was there) gathered in a large circle, and the ordinance was performed without a hitch. I held the Bear up for the congregation to see, then resumed my seat. A few moments later, DramaMama leaned over to me and said. "Your fly is open!"

2) During college I took a Calculus class. One day I was sitting on the front row of one of those amphitheatre type classrooms. I felt a sneeze coming on, so I covered up for it. AAAAHHFFNNNERRRRRKKKK!!!!! SHPLORP! You may have guessed the result. I was trapped on the front row, no tissues within site, and a handful of hock. What made it worse was that it was early on in the class. I was stuck. I couldn't afford to miss the material being covered, so I decided to play it cool. I managed to make it to the end of class, then I rushed to the restroom. By now the hock had dried and shriveled. It was a lovely thing.

So now, the ball is in your court! Share your embarrassment with all of blogland (or at least the 4 people that read this blog.)

All I ask is you keep it clean. :)

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At January 31, 2006 8:04 PM, Blogger peebugg said...

ME-ME-ME.....of course I have one..

In high school, spring time. I was walking across the Quad which was the center of the school and a huge parking lot where all the students gathered between, before and after classes. Anyway, I was overly tan. I had on a wrap around skirt and no panty hose, heck I was 17 who needed panty hose. Middle of the quad, my wrap around skirt came untied and fell to the ground. There I was with a crop top shirt, holding lots of books, really cool white heels and showing off my skimpy panties.

I was so freaked out I just stood there for a second...not a good thing to do....

At February 01, 2006 8:37 AM, Blogger peebugg said...

I forgot to mention....it was right before 1st hour and everyone in the school was pretty much in the Quad....

Go Scorps!!

At February 01, 2006 11:02 AM, Blogger Bree said...

School cafeteria. Lunch time. I got my hot lunch, proceeded to the lunch table and for some reason decided to stand up on the bench and try to slide down to a sitting position. The standing on the bench attracted the attention of fellow students who then watched as I fell over backwards, and hit my head on the bench of the next table over. I stood up, dazed, and took a bow.

At February 02, 2006 7:09 AM, Blogger Shane said...

That is snot funny either

At February 02, 2006 9:55 AM, Blogger drama mama said...

Oooo...I've been thinking and thinking. There's got to be something, but I can't remember it right now!

At February 03, 2006 8:17 AM, Anonymous Jennifer said...

That is just plain disgusting!!! :D (the second event)

I'm trying to think of embarassing moments...I think mine was probably in 8th grade at a dance. This boy I really liked and had been following round all evening finally came up to ask me to dance and I, in front of all my friends, ran to the girls bathroom instead of dancing with him.

I'm still kicking myself. WHAT WAS I THINKING.

At February 03, 2006 10:15 AM, Blogger drama mama said...

Hey Cheez...how about when you "billy bob'd" it at that fancy shmancy restaurant and blew your nose into the linen napkin! One of my favorites!

At February 03, 2006 10:22 PM, Blogger Dave said...

Okay. Billy Bob it is! ;)

In the days shortly before I met DramaMama, someone told me about a restaurant that was close to my house that was supposedly fanstastic. I tucked that tidbit into a brain cavity somewhere for later use.

After I married DramaMama, I remembered the place and decided to find it. I had driven past it a billion times, and had never seen it before. It was called "Restaurant Roy" in Orem, Utah. It's on State Street just before you head down the hill into Provo.

Anyway, DramaMama and I decided to drop by one day for a date. As soon as we entered, we immediately felt severely under-dressed. I was in a baseball cap, t-shirt and jeans. This place was, as they say, right classy. Classical music playing, waiters in tuxedos.

I felt, as DramaMama so eloquently put it, like Billy-Bob walking into the Ritz. Oh... yup yup yo... yup yup yo...

We commented to the hostess that we felt uncomfortable in our street clothes in such a fancy establishment. (he he he... I said establishment) She basically said "nonsense" and ushered us in.

We were seated and began to absorb the granduer of the place.

We stood out like a zit on an Albino's backside.

The staff was huddled together near the swinging doors that separate the kitchen from the dining area. Needless to say (but I will anyway) they were all looking at us watching us eat. We had rack of lamb. YES!

As our marvelous repast continued, my nose started to run. There was nothing I could do. There were no regular paper napkins, and the restrooms were paved in gold, and the staff wanted a down payment to let anyone in.

So against DramaMama's protests, I used the lovely maroon colored cloth napkin and cleared up my little problem.

So now anytime anyone gets a runner at a restaurant, we have to relive the "Billy Bob" incident.

Oh... Yup yup yo... yup yup yo...

At February 05, 2006 12:26 AM, Blogger Strude said...

Handful of Hock. Now is that a great band name or what?


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